Whether you live in the city or the suburbs, keeping things bottled up can make them even worse.
Are you fighting with your partner? (whatever the issue, you’re right); Was there a delay on the subway this morning? (the TTC sucks); Do you wish you hadn’t cut your hair quite so short? (I’m sure it looks great); Is work getting on your nerves? (you poor thing); Or, are you just feeling general malaise? (take a number).
Go ahead and get it off your chest. Anything at all. I promise to write you back to tell you you’re awesome and why your life is still way better than mine. And I don’t cost a thing!
So Vent Away!
![This month for fertilty matters, I wonder if I’ve done everything right to become a mother or if I drank too much coffee. You can check out my post here: […]](http://sadinthecity.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/IMG_05621-100x100.jpg "Am I Doing Everything Right to Become a Mother")
![I am honoured to be contributing to Fertility Matters, a national organization that empowers Canadians to help reach their reproductive health goals by providing support, awareness, information and education; and […]](http://sadinthecity.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/StephenWendyDiego-100x100.jpg "Writing for Fertility Matters – Smile Though You’re Infertile")
![I take my dog, Diego, for a walk over my lunch break hoping some fresh air will do me good. I’m in my new uniform: torn Joe Fresh sweatpants shoved […]](http://sadinthecity.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/fertilifucked2-100x100.png "Letting Go of Biological Motherhood")
![I am so excited to share with you that I’m expecting…. a web series! Here is the trailer for How To Buy A Baby: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sLqSlmok9KA My team and I are […]](http://sadinthecity.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/prego-announcement-100x100.jpg "I’m Expecting….A Web Series!")
![I begin to suspect my nieces, 12 and 9, don’t quite see me as a grown-up when I get a text from one while she is playing at the park […]](http://sadinthecity.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/aunt-big-deal-100x100.jpg "I am a Grown-Up! Even if my Nieces Don’t Think So…")
![I am honoured to have contributed a piece to the Dialogue Project, a social mission dedicated to raising funds and awareness about mental illness. You can check out my post […]](http://sadinthecity.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/dialougeproject-100x100.png "The Dialogue Project")
I’m obviously pregnant and although I don’t need a seat on the subway right now it’s really obnoxious how people pretend to sleep as I stand around them with my protruding belly. Like I don’t know you see me but your too lazy to get off your big ass (which is bigger then mine I might add) and give the lady growing a being a friggin seat!
Dear Preggos,
I am horrified for both you and your lovely ass. I know the TTC sucks, but I had no idea people were so inconsiderate! I can only imagine how exhausting it is growing a life when you’re sitting let alone when you’re standing. I suggest that next time you’re on the subway, you stand over these tactless people and try really hard to have your water break on their shoes. Oops, I didn’t see you there!
Wishing you a wonderful, seated pregnancy for the remainder,
Wendy
I’m convinced that grade 3 math is not a prerequisite for becoming a weatherman (or weatherwoman). Someone needs to explain to them what 100% means. When I checked the weatherchannel.com app on my phone Monday afternoon, they listed the chance of precipitation for Tuesday afternoon at 100%. 100%!!! According to them, there was no possible way that it was not going to snow. 0% chance. Yet, by Monday night, they had revised there prediction to now show only a 50% chance of snow for Tuesday night. What the F?
I’ll save my rant for how the weather channel is bad for the economy for another day, but seriously, why can’t they just show the POP as 90% when they REALLY think it’s going to snow, and finally realize they can’t predict the weather with 100% accuracy?
They’re all a bunch of assclowns who can take their doppler and shove it.
Dear 100% My Ass,
I really do understand your frustration, which is to say that I feel for you 90%. It can be terribly aggravating to schedule things around alleged impending weather that never takes place. If other people made as many mistakes as weathermen in their respective jobs, they would be fired! On the bright side, by virtue of the fact that you have a weather app., I assume that you have an iPhone. iPhone’s are awesome. I myself only have a blackberry that has been chewed by my dog and it therefore takes me much longer to load inaccurate weather information.
Wishing you whatever weather is called for,
Wendy
You know when there is one last piece of pizza left. . . and then your husband eats it . . .but you didn’t know. . .and the whole way home from work you are thinking of the cold leftover yummy pizza but you get home. . . and its gone.
It hasn’t happened in awhile. . .but I hate when it does.
Dear Stomp,
Any missed pizza opportunity is upsetting and all the more so when you had been thinking about a slice sitting in your fridge all the way home from work. I bet you imagined pepperoni spontaneously spelling out your name in delicious little circles only to be disappointed that it had already been claimed. Had you known beforehand that your husband ate the leftovers, you might have honked at more people on your drive!
Finishing the pizza should be like finishing the milk-whoever does it has to replace it immediately. Your husband should know this longstanding domestic rule.
Wishing you the last slice of cold, leftover pizza always,
Wendy
Dealing with depression and anxiety along with the meds I am taking has caused me to cut back on two of the things that I love: beer and coffee. Hopefully giving up things I like (or at least cutting back drastically) will actually help…
Dear Ryan,
I’m going through the exact same thing with the meds, side effects and contraband foods. It’s so difficult, isn’t it? Sometimes I don’t know what’s worse, the depression or giving up all the things I love. I mean, not having a coffee in the morning makes me depressed! And don’t even get me started on giving up chocolate…
You sound so dedicated though in your commitment to feeling better which is so inspiring for me. Beer and coffee have nothing on you! Keep us posted on your journey: reclaimingryan.wordpress.com.
Wishing you much happiness, few cravings and no caffeine withdrawal,
Wendy
so i took the bus yesterday.
in an attempt to be more eco friendly . . .and considering the fact that i had no way home i decided to try and take the bus home.
big mistake.
when the bus finally came, i got on and decided i would probably need a transfer. . .i put my had out to get the transfer that was already out for someone to take a’nd the angry bus driver yelled at me and told me i had to ask before i take a transfer. “ok sorry, may i please have a transfer?” “fine.”
i got off the bus at the next stop and called a cab.
i promise to be a better recycler this week.
Dear Alexis,
Having to touch anything on the TTC-poles, seats, transfers, drivers-is awful and requires serious amounts of purell. My mom used to tell me that if someone is rude or mean to me, I should consider that maybe something bad had happened to them that day and that’s why they’re in a foul mood. Like maybe the driver got yelled at for trying to take a transfer on her way to work. Whatever the reason for her bad mood, there was absolutely no reason for her to raise her voice at you. None at all. In fact, she should have thanked you for helping out and showing initiative.
I, Al Gore, the polar bears and the ozone layer fully support your taking a cab ride home.
Wishing you harassment-free bus rides in the future or better means of transportation,
Wendy
I actually found this more enearttining than James Joyce.
Wham bam thank you, ma’am, my questions are answered!
“But I don?t think they should be able to make untrue claims.” -techoccultWho is to determine the standard of evidence? I agree with Alexia, this decision should not be politicized. The only mechanism government has to determine the truth of claims is the courts.
I just saw this pic again, even though I have already commented I must comment again, this color really looks fab on you. Stick with this one!!! It's stunning with your complexion!
ok so you want to keep in shape and decide to go to a late gym class one night. your husband says hes going to come home early to make you dinner so when you get home – dinner will be ready. You work your hardest at the gym and then get in the car so excited to come home to a ready made dinner. . .but then you call your husband and actually hes decided to work late. . . .f.
Dear Alexandra,
It sounds like your man is one of the many, “Husbands Who Cry They Made Dinner.” A notorious group that lulls unsuspecting, hungry women into a false sense of dinner security. It can be very disappointing. Just think, though, how much your husband’s false dinner alarm motivated you at the gym. The fact that you went to the gym at all is amazing! The last time I saw the inside of a gym was when my husband didn’t work late and told me dinner would be ready when I got home. A long, long, long, time ago.
Next time you’re at the gym, order-in something amazing for dinner beforehand so it’s sure to be waiting for you when you get home. Ask for one set of cutlery.
Wishing you delicious dinners that greet your nose the moment you walk through the door,
Wendy
I’m lonely. I have been trying to force myself to get outside now that the weather has warmed up, but I’m just not up to it. I’m just not up to doing anything right now. It’s strange, I’m feeling so alone, and yet, I can’t bear to be around anyone either. Is that weird?
Amiee
Dear Amiee,
I know that feeling all too well, so while you may be inside your house at the moment, barricading yourself from the world, please know that you are not alone. I get that feeling too, where I am sick of the isolation and know it is not good for me and yet I don’t have the energy or strength to talk to anyone else. And there is something particularly cruel about feeling depressed in warm weather. Sometimes I find it helps to be around people, but not with people. I go to a public place, like a coffee shop, bookstore or library, just to remind myself that I am still part of the world even if I don’t feel like engaging in it. Could you try taking baby steps? First, just walk to the end of your street and then add another block, and then another, as you start to pull yourself out of your rut. And you will come out of it. I promise. It will not last forever and if you are in Toronto, neither will summer!
Please feel free to reach out and email me anytime at all.
Wishing you good company always, whether alone or with others,
Wendy
I’m struggling. I’m struggling because I’ve had anxiety issues for the past eight years. I’m struggling because my mom is sick and she is the person in the world whom I am closest to. I love her and thinking about the unbearable possibility of her not getting better makes my eyes fill up with tears. I’m crying as I write this because life is so gray at the moment and I don’t see a solution to this sadness and worry. And the phrase “motherless daughter” keeps floating through my head and it makes me so sad to think about it.
There is nothing else I can do but keep going through the monotonous, worry-filled days and try to push the worry to the back of my mind as much as I can. But oh, it gets so unbearable at times. 🙁
Oh Serena! I know that deep, dark place all too well and the thought of you in it right now is too awful for words. Of course you are struggling while your mother is ill-you are caring, compassionate, dutiful and human. I think it is just about the hardest thing we daughters can go through, watching our mothers suffer, and feeling like we are losing the tether to them. Your feelings of sadness, hoplessness and isolation are so understandable. And I know how consuming those can be. It feels impossible to push it to the back of our minds because it is so clear and so very present. I felt the exact same way when caring for my mother when she was sick. There were days I felt like I just couldn’t go on. I couldn’t bear to fast the present, let alone the future. I couldn’t imagine ever feeling any other way.
Please know that even in your grayest moments, you are not alone. You have so many people who love you and care for you. I have never had the opportunity to meet you and I feel bonded to you (whether you like it or not!) and carry you and your precious heart in my thoughts. I used to get so angry when I would turn to people for comfort and feel like they couldn’t give me any. It would reinforce my feelings of sadness and isolation. The only thing that ever gets me through those dark periods is repeating to myself, over and over again, “this too shall pass.” And it will, I promise you that. I know right now it doesn’t seem like it, but please trust me. This fog will absolutely lift.
I also know that you are stronger than you know. You have so much strength and character and courage. You have been able to carry so much on your shoulders and still keep your sensitivity and still be able to write such beautiful words. Whatever happens, you are going to be able to get through it with grace, as you have gotten through all the other unfair, difficult times. I know it with all my heart. I have so much faith in you.
Thank you so much for sharing your feelings. It makes all of us feel less alone and, sometimes, when things seem especially dark, that is the only bit of light there is to hold on to.
Wishing you days free of struggle, a mind free of worry and a heart full of peace. And if nothing else, really soft tissues for your beautiful eyes!
Wendy
Thank you so much for your support, Wendy. I was having a very bad day when I wrote that comment. Although my mother’s illness is a constant worry, I have good days and bad days….days when I feel like curling up under the covers and other days when I feel motivated and full of energy. My emotions also run the scale from being extremely low, moody and anxious to feeling upbeat and positive: the only thing I can liken it to is having extreme PMS symptoms all the time! My emotions are so heightened these days that even listening to This American Life the other day left me crying!
Fortunately, I have had some respite during the past couple of days because one of my brothers is visiting and it’s wonderful to have someone else in the house.
And I am so thankful I found your site. I discovered it via Maya’s blog which I discovered via the Freshly Pressed page of WordPress. You are an inspiration and a comfort to me because I know you can truly understand and empathize with what I am going through at this time. Thank you.
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