Congratulations Snooki, you win.

I have always dreamed of publishing a book, something I believed to be a difficult but modest goal. Except it’s not, because Snooki has published a book.

http://www.amazon.com/Shore-Thing-Nicole-Snooki-Polizzi/dp/1451623747

I’m not usually the jealous type but if I’m being honest, I am just not a big enough person to be happy for her. I have to get up every morning and face the fact that one of my life’s ambitions has already been accomplished by Snooki. Do you know what that can do to a person? It doesn’t even matter now if I get a book published, Snooki will have already done it first.  What’s wrong with me, do I not have big enough hair!? Because I am certainly open to using less product.

It’s not even the fact that Snooki was signed by Simon & Schuster, that she and her cast were one of Barbara Walters’ “10 Most Fascinating People” in 2010 or even that seven months before her publication debut she tweeted, “officially reading my first bo! Lmao!” (Literal translation: she is reading her first book. Figurative translation: kill me). What gets to me is that this probably wasn’t supposed to happen to her.

You see, it’s not all vapid books by famous people that upset me. I am fine with the Paris Hiltons and the Nicole Richies of the world publishing lame books with little difficulty because things like that are expected. With their dynastic money and power, it is no surprise that these two can buy and influence their way into the literary world. Snooki was born with niether of those, which makes her success shocking and tougher to tolerate. On the surface, she looks like she has very little going for her. I’m willing to bet she wasn’t even nominated for the “Most Likely to Succeed Award” at her high school. And I know, I just know, that there is a smart and decent girl somewhere who sat in front of Snooki in English class, she let Snooki copy her notes because Snooki never attended and she wondered whether this loudmouth girl was seriously for real (or, srsly 4 rl? @Sn00ki). This poor girl is probably slugging away at an average 9 to 5 job, wondering if she’s in the twighlight zone. She has to watch Snooki on tv, Snooki at book signings, Snooki pretty much everywhere, and all she can do is tell her friends, “you don’t understand, we all thought English was her second language and that her hair was a weave!” Girl Who Has Been Snookered-if you’re out there reading this, I totally believe you. As Snooki said in Season 2, “If you have to think about it… IT IS.” So true Snooki, so true.

I know that life can be unfair and unexpected. I know you can work really hard and still come up short because that little stroke of luck passes you by. Just because you want something so badly, doesn’t make it a “shore thing” (sorry). But I just can’t think like that right now. Right now, I have to believe in the power of good old fashioned hard work. If I’m to get up in the morning and write my little heart out, I have to believe that dedication, open-mindedness, persistence, courage and a healthy dose of self-deprecating humour can make up for having no lucky break. But God knows I’m still praying for one. In the meantime, maybe I’ll shift focus and work away at my other life’s ambition-like writing for television! Snooki can’t say she’s done that, can she!?

Is there someone you know whose success makes you a little bitter? It’s okay, we’re only human. Why not vent about it in the “Vent With Us” section, available on the right-hand side of the home page!