Someone recently hacked into a hotmail account of mine, that I barely knew still existed, and sent an email to my entire address book, which included some judges of the Ontario Superior Court of Justice. The email went something like this:
“Hi, How you doing? I made a trip to Glasgow (Scotland) unannounced some days back. Unfortunately i got mugged at gun point last night! All cash, credit card and phone were stolen. Wondering if you could loan me some money to sort out the hotel bills and also take a cab to the airport, about $1,550. I have been to the police and embassy here, but they aren’t helping issues, I have limited means of getting out of here. Get back to me with details, would def refund it to you once i get back you can count on that!”
The email then goes on to provide a Glasgow address where money should be immediately wired.
Didn’t my Scottish perpetrator see the sign?
I felt violated having an email sent out by a stranger in my name. I then felt frustrated that Microsoft’s refusal to shut down the account because I couldn’t provide them with a password or answer to the security question, both of which had been changed by the hacker already, landed me squarely in a Jospeh Heller novel. What’s worse though than knowing someone has carte blanche access to my account indefinitely, is knowing that no one sent any money to pay my hotel bills or get me home! Not one person! For all they know, I’m still in Glasgow!
It’s not that I want my dear friends and family to fall victim to a phishing scam on my behalf. But, if one should take place, it would be nice to know that maybe some of them did. I would feel a lot more comfortable traveling now if I knew that at least one person who received this message was so vexed with worry she had no presence of mind to think, “Wendy’s never been to Glasgow. And she never uses lower case i’s for a pronoun.” I was apparently held at gun point after all! Capital letters may not have been a priority while writing.
I thought fake Wendy was really polite too. Despite having been the victim of a violent crime she still took the time to first ask after the recipient. She even promised to pay the money back. Surely that’s got to earn her a couple of dollars?
I’m embarrassed by this poor response in front of the hacker too, who must now think I’m a total loser. He probably has spread sheets and such, keeping a tally of all funds coming in from each scheme perpetrated on an unsuspecting account owner and the Wendy column has a big, fat zero. I really want to know how much he made off of other people. Am I the only one who attracted no money to secure my safe passage from a foreign country?
Well, since none of you wired any funds to help fake Wendy sort out her bills or get to the airport, she doesn’t feel so bad now for not bringing back any Scottish souvenirs for the lot of you! Don’t even ask for shortbread.
Have any of you had a similar experience? (having had your account hacked, not having been held up in Glasgow!)
Never mind the shortbread, did you bring back any kippers?
Nope. No shortbread, no kippers, no kilts, no haggis or any other Scottish cliche!
this is hilarious! but you shouldn’t feel bad, wendy. If anyone had sent any money, you would have wondered why they weren’t suspicious about the fact that fake Wendy has a terrible writing style. There isn’t a single witty remark or funny reference in her entire paragraph!! (“you can count on that”?!!) That jerk can keep her shortbread and her dirty money, i’m just glad that real wendy is the one with the blog.
I’ve been trying so hard to think of a reply that somehow incorporates “you can count on that!” but I give up. It’s too lame.
Oh my goodness, I am totally lol’ing right now! I did receive the email from fake Wendy, however, I knew that Ninian Melamphy taught you much better in writing 101 🙂
That name is just as funny now as it was 10 years ago. I’m so happy you didn’t use it for your first born so it’s still available.
I’m upset I wasn’t even in your Hotmail address book. Talk about feeling rejected, ignored and unvalued. But I have the last laugh. Now you’ll never know if I would have sent you the money.
I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you would have!
Yup! I was apparently peddling penis enlargement to my friends and family last year after a hacker got into my hotmail account. Good news though, the product was not from Scotland!
Oy, that’s terrible Elyssa! And much worse even. You work so hard already, you really shouldn’t have to peddle penis enlargements too!
Hi there, just become aware of your weblog thru Google, and located that it is truly informative. I am going to watch out for brussels. I will appreciate when you continue this in future. Lots of other folks will be benefited out of your writing. Cheers!